Characters

Fictional Rassieverse characters

Invented supporters, neighbours, coaches and team staff who keep turning up in the comics.

• 

  The Braai Master

  Oom Kallie

  Has run the street braai for 31 years. Deeply suspicious of whiteboards.

  Oom Kallie believes a braai should be judged by feel, smoke and the number of neighbours who drift over.

  Appears in

  • If Rassie Did the Garden
  • The Pothole
  • The Bomb Squad Arrives
  • The Lucky Jersey
  • If Rassie Did the Holiday Pool
  • Nobody Move
  • If Rassie Did Load Shedding
  • Selection for the Team Braai
  • Anthem Goosebumps
  • If Rassie Planned a Braai
• 

  Keeper of the Lucky Jersey

  Tannie Marietjie

  Owns a spare jersey for every emergency and has not missed an anthem since 1995.

  If you need a jersey, a rusk or a strongly worded opinion about the referee, Tannie Marietjie has one in her handbag.

  Appears in

  • If Rassie Did the First Dance
  • If Rassie Did Home Affairs
  • The Pothole
  • The Lucky Jersey
  • If Rassie Did the Holiday Pool
  • Nobody Move
  • Anthem Goosebumps
  • If Rassie Planned a Braai
• 

  The 3am Supporter

  Thabo

  Lives overseas, sleeps in two-hour blocks during tournaments and has never missed a kick-off.

  Thabo’s neighbours know the fixtures better than he does, mostly because of the celebrations.

  Appears in

  • If Rassie Did the First Dance
  • One Try, One Group Chat
  • The Lucky Jersey
  • The Parade Wave
  • Anthem Goosebumps
  • Kick-off at 3am
• 

  The Friday Jersey Enforcer

  Lerato

  Runs the office, the family group chat and the Friday dress code with equal authority.

  Lerato is the reason the whole office owns a jersey, and the reason nobody forgets the fixtures.

  Appears in

  • If Rassie Did a Kids’ Birthday Party
  • Green Friday
  • The Bomb Squad Arrives
  • If Rassie Did School Sports Day
  • Nobody Move
  • If Rassie Did the Family Photo
  • If Rassie Did the School Run
  • The Friday Jersey
• 

  The Fresh Legs

  The Bomb Squad

  Seven enormous friends who arrive at the 50th minute of any event and change the result.

  They are always late. It is always on purpose. The party is always better for it.

  Appears in

  • If Rassie Did the First Dance
  • Excess Baggage
  • Fresh Legs at the Fiftieth
  • The Bomb Squad Arrives
  • The Car Guard’s Call
  • The Missing Sock
• 

  The Assistants

  The Coaching Staff

  An attack coach with ninety lineout options, a scrum coach with forearms like fence posts and a defence coach who has never blinked.

  Fictional characters. They are not based on any real coach, and their slide decks are entirely their own fault.

  Appears in

  • The Captain’s Team Talk
  • The Coin Toss
  • Selection for the Team Braai
• 

  The People Who Actually Run Things

  The Management Team

  A team manager who has already planned the queue, a physio with tape for everything and a kit manager who can find one missing sock among forty bags.

  Fictional characters. Nothing leaves for the airport until the Team Manager has ticked it off.

  Appears in

  • The Missing Kit Bag
  • Excess Baggage
  • Fresh Legs at the Fiftieth
  • The Missing Sock
• 

  The Durban Matriarch

  Gogo Nomsa

  Runs the family group chat from Durban, records a voice note for every try and has never once been late for a parade.

  Gogo Nomsa believes the good spots go at four in the morning, and she has been right every time.

  Appears in

  • One Try, One Group Chat
  • The Lucky Jersey
  • The Parade Wave
  • If Rassie Did the Family Photo
• 

  The Perth Supporter

  Anika

  Watches every Test from a flat in Perth, sends thirty-seven voice notes per try and met Thabo on the family video call.

  Anika has work at seven. She has never let that stop a celebration.

  Appears in

  • If Rassie Did the First Dance
  • One Try, One Group Chat
• 

  The Aerial Holder

  Bra Sipho

  Held the village TV aerial on a roof for an entire Test match. His calls are still the clearest in the Eastern Cape.

  Bra Sipho has not seen a single try live. He has been responsible for all of them.

  Appears in

  • One Screen, Whole Village
  • The Car Guard’s Call
• 

  The Taxi Driver

  Bra Tshepo

  Drives the green minibus, saves the front seat for anyone in a jersey and swears he never moved early.

  Bra Tshepo knows every shortcut in the city and every rule in rugby, and believes both are negotiable.

  Appears in

  • Green Friday
  • Robots on the Blink